Thursday, June 28, 2012

Waiting for uncertainty

Part of the reason that I'm undecided about this whole online dating thing, is the waiting. I'm not sure I'm built to just sit around and wait for love.

Well - that's not entirely true. It's not really the waiting that gets to me - it's the uncertainty. I've always said that I don't care how long I have to wait for something to long as I know it's going to happen.

I know this isn't a very popular point of view for the strong, independent, single gal, but - I love love. I like the idea of forever. I like the idea that there is one person out there for everyone - even if it does take some of us longer to find him than others. I want that it my life.

There - I said it.

That said....I don't mind waiting for my life to be ready, to find that perfect guy. Sure I'd like it to happen sooner rather than later, but I can totally understand if it just isn't time yet. The problem isn't that I have to wait.

The problem is that I'm waiting for something I can't be sure will ever happen.

No one can tell the future, and maybe this is where my faith in God comes in to play. Maybe I need to find a way to remind myself that if I trust in God's plan, then I do know it's coming - I just don't know when.

Sounds easy enough - but there's this uneasy feeling that creeps up now and then. It makes me wonder if maybe God's plan doesn't include someone special in my life. If that's the case - will I just keep meeting the wrong people, and getting my heart broken over and over? Or will I eventually just close myself off to protect my heart, and stop meeting people at all?

That's a scary thought. Between you and me - it's the scariest thought of all.

I recently saw a post from Pastor Joel Osteen, who I learned about from Trooper (irony) who said:
God wouldn't have put a dream in your heart if He didn't already have a plan to bring it to pass.
I'm not sure how Mr. Osteen would feel about me applying his very deep, meaningful message of faith to my online dating world - but there you have it. If God didn't have a plan to bring love into my life, he wouldn't have put it in my heart.

Guess I'll just have to wait and see.


  1. I've been following you for a while now, and love your honesty. I completely feel the way you do... it's not necessarily the waiting, but the wondering if a special someone truly is on the horizon for me.... Hoping we both find peace and have faith that things will all work out as they should for us both! :)

  2. I don't think all of the dreams in our hearts necessarily turn out the way we plan. They evolve over time as we grow as people. My favorite quote that I repeat to myself when I'm struggling is this one: "Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end." Love takes many forms, and a person as wonderful as you, my dear friend, will certainly find it.

    1. I love that quote!

      I agree, dreams do change over time. And I do believe we find what we need, and what is best, not always what we thought we wanted. I like to think that by having faith, and not being afraid to trust, we'll eventually find exactly what we need.

      I have found love in many, many forms - including wonderful friends like you. I'd like to find "one true love" - but if I never do, I already know I'm one lucky girl. :)