Well - that's not entirely true. It's not really the waiting that gets to me - it's the uncertainty. I've always said that I don't care how long I have to wait for something to happen....as long as I know it's going to happen.
I know this isn't a very popular point of view for the strong, independent, single gal, but - I love love. I like the idea of forever. I like the idea that there is one person out there for everyone - even if it does take some of us longer to find him than others. I want that it my life.
There - I said it.
That said....I don't mind waiting for my life to be ready, to find that perfect guy. Sure I'd like it to happen sooner rather than later, but I can totally understand if it just isn't time yet. The problem isn't that I have to wait.
The problem is that I'm waiting for something I can't be sure will ever happen.
No one can tell the future, and maybe this is where my faith in God comes in to play. Maybe I need to find a way to remind myself that if I trust in God's plan, then I do know it's coming - I just don't know when.
Sounds easy enough - but there's this uneasy feeling that creeps up now and then. It makes me wonder if maybe God's plan doesn't include someone special in my life. If that's the case - will I just keep meeting the wrong people, and getting my heart broken over and over? Or will I eventually just close myself off to protect my heart, and stop meeting people at all?
That's a scary thought. Between you and me - it's the scariest thought of all.
I recently saw a post from Pastor Joel Osteen, who I learned about from Trooper (irony) who said:
God wouldn't have put a dream in your heart if He didn't already have a plan to bring it to pass.I'm not sure how Mr. Osteen would feel about me applying his very deep, meaningful message of faith to my online dating world - but there you have it. If God didn't have a plan to bring love into my life, he wouldn't have put it in my heart.
Guess I'll just have to wait and see.
I've been following you for a while now, and love your honesty. I completely feel the way you do... it's not necessarily the waiting, but the wondering if a special someone truly is on the horizon for me.... Hoping we both find peace and have faith that things will all work out as they should for us both! :)
ReplyDeleteI don't think all of the dreams in our hearts necessarily turn out the way we plan. They evolve over time as we grow as people. My favorite quote that I repeat to myself when I'm struggling is this one: "Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not ok, it's not the end." Love takes many forms, and a person as wonderful as you, my dear friend, will certainly find it.
ReplyDeleteI love that quote!
DeleteI agree, dreams do change over time. And I do believe we find what we need, and what is best, not always what we thought we wanted. I like to think that by having faith, and not being afraid to trust, we'll eventually find exactly what we need.
I have found love in many, many forms - including wonderful friends like you. I'd like to find "one true love" - but if I never do, I already know I'm one lucky girl. :)