Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Cradle jumpers

In an effort to find more trouble blog material, I restored my OK Cupid profile last week. I'd hidden it over the summer after meeting Sparrow, and honestly forgot all about it after I started dating again. But Plenty of Fish has been getting me into nothing but trouble and heartache lately, and Match is full of men who want a housewife and mom-to-be - so I figured what could this hurt?

If you've never used it, OK Cupid is a very interactive site. The home page is set up like a newsfeed, with the latest activity for all users. Users are invited to comment (which shows up in the form of a private message) on new photos, answers to profile questions, etc. The site (and phone app) notify you of every visitor, and give you an extra heads-up if a visitor is a particularly good match. The site is bright, with a pastel logo, and questions and profile set up that read like a Facebook quiz.

You can probably imagine the demographic OK Cupid seems to attract - young, and very attached to the online world. It's not really surprising, then, that within ten minutes of restoring my profile, I had emails from a 28 year old, a 22 year old - and a guy who lives 3,000 miles away.

Not exactly what I was going for...but the site wasn't done yet.

A couple days later, I got an email from a guy who is 19 years old. Nineteen!! I could have children that age. I actually had step children who are older. To put it in perspective, a few days before I got an email on Match from a guy closer to my age - who is old enough to be this person's grandfather.

Nineteen is too young even by the acceptable cougar standards.

But I couldn't resist - especially after prompting from a favorite tweep. I responded, "Our age difference is really too much for me. Any chance your dad is single?"

No response. I assumed he was probably irritated by my question, or hadn't fully grasped my age when he sent the first email. Then - he emailed back. Said my profile seemed cool and fun, and I was very pretty, so he wanted to talk to me.

Aw. That's sweet. He's 19!!

I didn't want to talk to him. There's nothing romantic or sexual about a man young enough to be my son. All I can think about are my friends who are moms, and how they would feel if their teenage (Teenage!) son was flirting with a peer.

Plus, a friend mentioned something I hadn't considered - what if he's not really 19? What if he's really 17 - or 16? Now we've blown right past the point of impropriety and directly to illegal.

I went back in to block his profile - which I found had been deleted.

I guess someone else decided jumping out of the cradle wasn't a good idea.

1 comment: