Wednesday, January 23, 2013

I will never get it

I recently went on a date that I thought went really well. We talked for over two hours. The conversation was natural and flowed easily. He texted me after and we talked for another hour. He asked me out the next day, though those plans eventually got canceled.

He had a lot going on and texted me a few days later apologizing that we hadn't really talked, and it seemed he'd met me at a bad time, but he was still hoping to get to know me.

I asked two people (both excellent at judging this sort of thing) if that sounded sincere, or like a poorly-crafted blow-off. See, I thought he was trying to go with a lame "bad timing" excuse - but to do that, you can't add on the "I still want to get to know you" part.

Both friends told me he was probably being sincere.

Both were wrong (or not exactly right, anyway).

I didn't hear from him again, even after I texted to see if he'd like to get together. I was going to just let it go - but I wasn't in a "let it go" kind of mood that weekend. So, I asked. Nicely. Told him I wasn't looking to make a big deal, I just preferred not to guess.

A day later, I got a response from him that he didn't want to string me along, that the timing was really bad for him, and he wished me luck.

Now - I know the guy has been online (Side Note: You do realize that just about any dating site will tell you when a person is online, or was last, right?) so he obviously has the time. He just wasn't interested. Which is fine, and I wished him well.

I've said before that I totally get if someone isn't interested in me. I also completely get not wanting to be the bad guy, so of course if you're not interested, you're hoping I feel the same, and we can just fade from each other's lives.

That I get.

But what's with the 2+ hours of conversation? What was with the hug? Why text me after and say how much fun you had, and how much you're looking forward to getting to know me? Why even suggest you might want a second date? Why add on the "I still want to get to know you" part to what would otherwise have been a very successful blow-off?

Baking Suit suggested that maybe, while I was in front of him, he did really like me. Maybe he even did want that second date. But after a few days of limited contact - he did legitimately have some stuff going on - it occurred to him that he hadn't really thought of me too much. If that was the case - maybe he realized he didn't really feel "it" and at that point, didn't know how to get out of it gracefully.

Maybe. But I'll still never get it.


  1. You're engaging, dynamic and fun. I stick by my assessment.

  2. I trust in BakingSuit's assessment.

    Because even though we have never met, you are engaging... your have a dynamic (written) voice.


  3. Thanks ladies! Being dynamic and fabulous is a tough job. Someone's gotta do it. ;)

  4. Bah hum bug. Boo on him. Try, try again