Monday, June 20, 2011

Best of the Worst: Why I'm single

The next time someone asks me why I am single, I am going to send them a link to this profile.
I'm newly divorced and plan on enjoying my first summer in over 20 years as a single guy. My wife kicked me out because I had an affair. It wasn't the first time I cheated. I sleep with women because I'm good at it. If you seriously wanted, I could give you references, but that seems kinda creepy.
Then he goes on to describe himself. He's good-looking - at least according to him. There are, oddly enough, no pictures associated with his profile.
What I'm doing with my life
Drinking and having sex. My "divorce coach" prescribed that for my first year being single. Seems pretty fun so far.
I'm really good at
F***ing. I don't get tired very easily.

You should message me if
You like to f***.
I gotta say - all in all, this actually isn't a horrible profile. He's being honest, upfront - and he used proper punctuation and spelling. The no-photo thing is creepy, though. Makes me think he's hiding something, even though he hardly seems modest.

The fact that this profile belongs to the only single guy within 50 miles of me that could spell the word "prescribed" is one of the chief reasons I'm single. There you have it.