Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Goes without saying

So, in the middle of realizing that I wouldn't hear from TG again, I did meet a new guy online. We'll call him Demo, in honor of his online user name - and the fact that he demolished my weekend.

In all fairness - Demo seemed like a nice enough guy. We only chatted once online, but he invited me to go see a movie we talked about, so I agreed. A couple of days later, he sent me a message, just saying he enjoyed our chat and was looking forward to the movie. The day of, he sent me a text to confirm, and let me know he'd ordered the tickets.


We met before show time, and decided to get a drink before heading into the theater. [I feel like a jerk for even saying this] I did some mental math. I had a soda, and he had a beer and appetizer. I'm figuring the bill had to be about $12 - and he left a $2 tip. That's reasonable - but not overly so. I guess I was thinking I'd have left more.

In the theater, and I asked him to choose the seats. Here's the thing - I have really bad arthritis in my knees, and my choice in seats is based on how I can best avoid steps. I wouldn't expect someone I just met to know this, and in all honesty, I try not to let my movie-going friends suffer for my genetic defect, anyway. I've learned to handle arthritis flare ups, swelling and general discomfort. But choosing a seat where my purse has to sit on the floor? This is not acceptable.

During the movie, Demo got a phone call. Now listen - I get it. Life happens. He has kids, and therefore I'm sure feels he can't be unreachable, which I respect. But he left the theater not once, not twice - but three times during the movie to take a call. This was after choosing a seat where I was on the aisle - so he climbed over me each time. On the way out, he apologized, saying it was his daughter - who, he said, was "having a fit" because he wasn't home.


So you had an off night. That can happen to anyone. But after having an off night - you don't lean in for a coveted first-date kiss. Ever.

Am I being harsh? Maybe. But here's my thought on first dates: You never, ever know if it might be your first chance to impress the person you hope to be with forever. If your view of dating is that you want to find love and happily-ever-after, then you need to treat every first date like it's the most important date you'll ever have - because you never know when it just might be.

So, over-tip; choose your seats well (guys - your date's purse needs a seat); don't leave the theater for a call unless it's unavoidable - and if that's a possibility, sit on the aisle; don't sit with your arms crossed, as though you'd rather be anywhere but there; don't keep looking at your phone, as though you're late for something more important; don't take a call at the table; and if you've done any (or all) of this - don't presume that a hug or a kiss is okay.

And don't even get me started on how you should dress....


  1. WOW. I'm so sorry to hear that he was such a buffoon. NEXT!

  2. Ha - yes, Next will be some serious dating down time for GGS. Luckily, my weekend of dating disasters provided plenty to talk about.