Friday, June 24, 2011

You say goodbye, I say hello

So, I've run into this problem a couple of times where I found someone on a dating site that I knew in "real life." The problem is, once I view a profile, the site records me as a "visitor" - so that person will know I've viewed his profile. (And yes, I know some sites will allow you to turn that off, but not all will, and that's not the point here anyway, because I have the function turned on.)

So then what?

Do I just pass them by, and pretend like I never saw the profile? Or should I send a message, a friendly hello, and just acknowledge that I was there?

I've always leaned towards saying hello - and it hasn't been a bad thing. I asked one guy out - which he ignored. I find that rude and juvenile, but hey, at least I learned what he was really about, right? And we went right back into our normal, twitter relationship, so no harm, no foul. With another guy, I just had some friendly back and forth, no big deal. And another guy, I actually went out with (once).

I guess I kind of look at the dating sites as one big bar; as we view each other's profiles, we're sort of checking each other out from across the room. If I was at a bar and I saw a guy that I knew, I'd say hello, wouldn't I? Whether I was "interested" or not?

I'd like to think I would. I'd like to think my friends would do the same with me, too.

But I don't want to creep these guys out, or hurt my friendships. If it turns into something, fine, but really all I want to do is say hello; let someone know - hey, we have this in common! Sucks, doesn't it?

So what do you think I should do? What would you do?


  1. I would leave them a friendly "hello". I used to see some profiles of men that I would recognize from my gym and I typically would leave a little note just saying 'hi', I think I recognize you from.... and leave it at that.

    You have to remember that not only are you recognizing them on there, but whether they would admit it or not, they are recognizing you as well. Works both ways. By you being the first to take the step to be friendly, you're the bigger person. Of course you are, because you are a woman!