One day at a time

"The great thing about the future is it comes one day at a time." Abraham Lincoln

Memorial Day weekend started out incredibly rough. The days leading up to the holiday, it seemed everywhere I went, I was reminded that the rest of the world, it seems, has someone special - and I am alone.

I cried to my cousin, saying how stupid I felt for feeling this way. She assured me that I'm not stupid. She pointed out that I was looking forward to a wonderful summer with Trooper, for which we'd already started making plans. This weekend should have been the start of something fabulous - and instead, I spent it alone, cat-sitting for a friend. 

Sigh.

I keep asking myself - when does this go away? When do things stop reminding me of what was, or what (I think) should have been? I find myself reminded of him in the strangest places....like, at work, I'll come across an old email and think, "On that date, I was still with Trooper." 

Those kind of thoughts are tough to get past. I dread when the fall comes, and each event or special date reminds me of him. Like, on Thanksgiving, everyone else will be thinking about turkey and family and parades....and I'll be thinking, "Last year, I woke up at Trooper's." 

I guess the trick is to not dwell in the past, or worry about the future. I need to concentrate on what is going on today, in this moment. A friend told me when it comes to grief, all you can do is take things one day at a time; and if that gets too overwhelming, you take things a moment at a time. 

Some days, that's the best I can do.