The worst part about being lied to is knowing that you can't trust anything that person had to say.
I'm not saying Trooper ever lied to me; he didn't. But sometimes, a breakup feels like a lie. Or, maybe more accurately, the breakup makes it seem as though parts of the relationship might have been a lie - or, at least, not as sincere as you were once led to believe.
Is it just me? Or does a breakup feel like anytime the person said he was happy, he couldn't have meant it? Because, if he felt that way - then where did those feelings go? Nothing changed - so why did the feelings just vanish?
I struggle a lot with that question. I remember Big taking great exception to the fact that I said he led me on, because he let me believe he had feelings for me, when he really didn't. He said I was making it into an all or nothing scenario - like his feelings had to be of a certain intensity, or they didn't exist at all.
That's not really what I meant. But I guess I do believe that you should never imply (or, you know, flat out say) that you feel a specific way unless you're certain that you do. Because some people (OK, me) might trust your words or actions. They might come to count on it. They might even make decisions based on what they believe you feel.
Then when you decide that no, it wasn't really there after all - it hurts just that much more. Which just may be the worst part of the lie.