Thursday, April 11, 2013

Finding Mr. Wrong

There is a huge misconception that I lead a very boring, uneventful, lonely life. I suppose that's normal when you're single among a lot of very unsingle friends. They are at home with their significant others, or posting loving messages on each other's facebook walls...and I post pictures of my cat. 

Thing is - it isn't true. I'm not bored (though some days I wish I were). I just don't choose to share a lot of that stuff (anywhere other than here, anyway). So, a lot of people who know me but don't really know me think all I do is hang out with my cat and watch Netflix.

The truth is, I find lots of dates. They just aren't with the right guys.

I'm not the only one with that particular problem. It can be annoying, especially those who are new to online dating, or dating in general. I was in a conversation on twitter the other day with a woman who tried the online thing, only to find it stressed her out, going on dates with guys and then having to tell them there was no "spark."

The important thing to remember about online dating sites is they provide a huge collection of single people all in one place. Some of those people are desperate, some have a specific agenda that doesn't involve "dating," and some are perfectly nice people who just aren't a good match for you.

There are also the crazy people, but that's a different post.

It doesn't matter if you're tall, short, skinny, heavy, smart, young, old, dumb... If you're on a dating site, and you're at all active, you will meet a lot of people. Statistics suggest this means you'll meet a lot of the wrong people.

Even if you're not on a dating site - if you date, you're going to go on a lot of dates with Mr. Wrong. Why? Simply because there are a lot of Mr. Wrongs - but only one Mr. Right. Mr. Wrong is just easier to find.

That doesn't mean dating can't still be fun - but it does mean you need to change your perspective a little. You can't look at dates with Mr. Wrong (whether it's your first or your hundreth) as a waste of time or a disappointment. It was probably a fun time; if not, at least it'll make a good story. (You can always email me the story and I'll be happy to share!)

Keep in mind, too, that dating is like anything else: You improve with practice. If you hang around dating sites long enough, you'll learn to tell early on whether someone is worth meeting in person. You'll also learn how to nicely decline invites if you're just not feeling a spark.

Let's face it - meeting Mr. Wrong is easy. It takes some practice to find Mr. Right.

1 comment:

  1. I found, that when I was in the dating market.. Mr. Wrong will always find you faster then a Mr. Right would.

    It was difficult when I was younger, to see through the bravada of a Mr. Wrong...

    But, now, I have sixth, seventh, and eight SENSE for that.