Thursday, April 18, 2013

Guess I had it coming

After the nonsense I've had going on, it was only a matter of time before I messed up my dating karma.

First, a few weeks ago, Bachelor #1 asked to see me. It had been a couple of weeks, and I honestly thought he had just lost interest - and was honestly OK. I said yes, but the more I thought about it, the less I wanted to go on a date just for the sake of having a date. We don't want the same things and he's clearly only interested in seeing what he can get. Not to mention, our compatibility is questionable at best.

So I canceled. I gave him several days notice, and told him a family obligation had come up that I couldn't ignore. I wanted to get out of the date without upsetting him, being mean, or writing him off completely. It was lame and cowardly and I know better.

So when he asked to go out the following weekend, it was no surprise when he texted just a few hours before I was supposed to pick him up and canceled - saying "something came up" with his family. Hey, it was a taste of my own medicine, which I can accept. (Side note: What I don't accept is the booty call attempt I got the following day. We have not spoken since. If he contacts me again, he will feel the full impact of my honesty.)

Not to be outdone, Mr. 1:30 am Booty Call (from that same post) stopped talking to me entirely the next day. He texted to say hi, I replied - and haven't heard from him since. I suppose he was annoyed that I never responded to his late night/early morning message. I was offended - but two wrongs never make a right, and I should have replied in the morning. Since I didn't, I really can't be upset that he has since written me off.

You may remember that I mentioned Chef had also emailed me. He asked if I would get together with him, and we made tentative plans, which I legitimately had to cancel. I offered a couple of alternate dates, and he replied by saying he's completely busy, maybe another time.

It's not right to cancel plans, blow someone off, or just fade away. I know that because it's been done to me plenty, and quite frankly, it sucks. Moments like these remind me that it is no more excusable when I do something similar, whether or not I intended to hurt any feelings.

These moments also serve as a lesson that I shouldn't be so hard on guys who do the same to me. Maybe they didn't care about my feelings - or maybe they were really just tired, or sick, or scared, or unsure.

Either way, anybody can make a mistake. Maybe I need to make remembering that my dating karma.

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