Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Great expectations

Something else I learned while I gave up dating for Lent... I have too many expectations.

Expectations should not be confused with standards. I refuse to lower my standards.

By expectations, I mean I have a tendency to meet people hoping it will turn into something. If we have a lot in common, seem attracted to each other, good conversation, etc., I tend to start thinking, "Hey, this could go somewhere."

I set expectations when I shouldn't.

So I need to get better at meeting people with absolutely no ideas about what might happen, or what could happen. No, "Wouldn't it be cool if...?" or "I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but..."

Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Just say hi and talk, like I just met someone on the street and have no idea if I'll ever see him again.

Can I do that with a really handsome, smart, funny guy who I just found on a dating site, after coming back to his profile eight times before finally deciding to send him a perfectly crafted email?

Sure, why not?

The real trick will be holding off on the expectations even after we've started talking...then dating...then...

OK, I'll work on it.


  1. I remember having this epiphany. It was a weird feeling, but eventually having that mindset helped put me in a better mental space.

  2. :) The end of the post made me giggle.

    It's hard not to set expectations that you shouldn't...
    It's hard.. because you want it so...

    I have a friend in a similar situation...

    Keep your head up.

  3. when you determine how to let those expectations go, can you share your secret please? (same problem, different day.)