Monday, November 25, 2013

Fool me once

At the end of the summer, I met this guy. He seemed nice - smart, funny, with his act together. Single dad, with a good job, and a nice life. We went on one date and had, I thought, a great time. At least I had a great time, and he said he did, too.

We made plans (at his suggestion) to go out again later that week. He cancelled last minute, saying something had come up at work. No big deal. We made plans to meet up again that Sunday. Saturday came, and I hadn't heard from him, so I texted him to see how his day was going. Nothing. I didn't really think anything of it, knowing he was busy with his son's football practice.

Sunday came. I texted a couple of times...nothing. So, I assumed he'd changed his mind about getting together again. I was confused, but obviously wasn't going to chase after the guy, so I let it - and him - go.

A few weeks later, he messaged me. Asked how I was, blah, blah, blah. He asked if we could get together - then cancelled on me about an hour before we were supposed to meet. He said something had come up, and he'd like to get together that weekend.

I was obviously skeptical, but I told him sure - he could get in touch with me on Sunday if he wanted to go out. Never heard from him, and once again, I let it go.

Fast forward a few weeks, and I heard from him again. He said he wanted to talk and see if I might be interested in getting together. I reminded him that I had always been interested; he was the one who kept canceling and blowing me off.

He said, here he was thinking I was the one who wasn't interested. He said he'd pulled back in an effort to see if I was really interested - and when he didn't hear from me, he figured I wasn't. He said his friends had told him to stop with the games and just ask me out.

We met for dinner that night. Again, it seemed to go really well. Good conversation, we seemed to be on the same page in terms of what we wanted out of dating. We agreed to get together again that coming weekend.

We texted and talked on the phone a few times over the next few days. That Saturday, he asked if we could get together on Sunday to watch football. He suggested "about 1" at a sports bar. Sunday morning, I checked in with him to confirm we were still on - and he said yes.

So after church, I went (sorta out of my way, mind you) to the sports bar. I was early; about 5 minutes to 1, I texted him to let him know I was there and waiting outside for him. No response; I thought perhaps he was on his way and couldn't text while driving.

Fifteen minutes later, I still hadn't heard from him, and he hadn't walked past me to get into the bar. I did a quick walk through, and didn't see him. The place was packed, so I really didn't want to use up a table unless I knew I'd be staying. I went back outside, and texted him again.

Still nothing.

I checked with Baking Suit on what seemed like appropriate wait-time for a guy who said he'd meet me "about 1." She felt 1:30 was more than reasonable, especially since he wasn't responding. I actually waited until about 1:45, when I'd been at the bar for almost an hour.

Just to be sure, and so that I could never be accused of not having made an effort to get in touch, I called him. As I expected, I got his voicemail.

I was pretty proud of myself. As tempting as it was to leave him a really nasty message, I managed to keep my voice very calm and my message very polite.

"Hey. Thought we were meeting around 1. I've been here a while, so I'm going to head out. Hope everything is OK. Take care." Then I left.

I have not heard from him since, and I don't expect I will. If I do, I reserve the right to not be so polite.

Side Note: This is the guy who felt not responding to texts, calling, etc. was not disrespectful. Given that's his feeling on canceling and ignoring, I'm inclined to assume he just didn't show up because he didn't feel like it, and feels he was perfectly justified in doing so because "that's life."

I now feel far less guilty about telling him I don't blog about dating.


  1. This is way too familiar. I don't know what these guys want? I have such similar experience lately - and it keeps repeating itself.

  2. Not worth the time or effort. It is TOTALLY disrespectful to make plans and just not show up. Cancelling at the last minute isn't great, but at least it's some level of communication. Argh. No wonder he's single if he pulls that shit all the time!

  3. I truly appreciate people like you! Take care!!