Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Fool me twice

If you can believe it - it happened again. After almost five years of dating without ever being stood up, I was stood up twice in one week. Before you ask - yes, it was a different guy.

Similar situation...single dad, seemed to have his act together, seemed very nice. We started talking online and we seemed to have a lot in common. What's also nice is we don't live too far from each other.

I emailed him first - and when he replied, he told me he kept visiting my profile but didn't message me because he "wasn't sure I'd reply." So, I took the hint he's not big on the first move, and asked if he'd like to meet for coffee "sometime."

I just wanted to put it out there that I'd like to meet. I did not pressure him into a day. He asked my schedule, he picked a day, time, and place.

The day of, I messaged to ask if we were still on...and heard nothing. At that point, I knew I probably shouldn't bother going - but since we'd actually made and confirmed plans already, I didn't want to just not show up, in case he did. Then I'd be the jerk who stood someone up.

So I went - obviously, he did not show.

Several days later, I got a message from him apologizing. He said he'd gotten some terrible news about a friend, and had been out of touch for several days. He said he felt bad that he messed it up because he "really wanted us to meet."

I decided I would accept his apology, tell him I was sorry about his friend, and said I'm sure something will work out eventually. I did not see any point in being mean about it, or getting angry. I also did not want to question his honesty.

But - as a friend pointed out - I do think if he really wanted to meet me, he would have apologized and then suggested another day and time.

We still talk now and then, though he's made no mention of meeting, and I will certainly never bring it up again. I do have to wonder - what could his endgame possibly be? What is the point of continuing to talk, if you know you don't want to meet?


  1. Hey GGS! Sorry to hear, getting stood up really sucks! I'm glad that instead of letting it get to you, you're here sharing with the rest of us on your blog about these big jerks.

    Could he be playing the same kind of game with you that the other guy who stood you up played? ie. waiting for you to make a move, which proves to him that you are really interested? I know, not totally rational considering he already stood you up once. Boys have cooties, bleah :)

    1. I'm not convinced the first guy was honest when he said he just wanted to see if I was interested. I think he was playing some other game. In any case, standing me up was the end.

      I think the second guy either chickened out, or met someone else he's more interested in. He won't make the first move, anyway, and since I'm now annoyed, it won't go anywhere.