Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Hard to get

I once had a guy tell me he had purposely backed off, in order to test my interest. I was skeptical - and not just because I don't believe a darn thing that particular guy says.

I know this has been a popular ploy for women. Don't be too available, let him do the chasing, let him make the effort. The thought being that men prefer to pursue, and they want what they can not have.

Obviously, gender roles have shifted everywhere else in life. Have they changed when it comes to dating, too?

Personally, I think this behavior is a bunch of bunk. Over the weekend, I listened to a panel of dating, relationship, and sex experts (and Perez Hilton) review a study done by about relationship trends in 2013.

One thing they mentioned - only 6% of singles believe in waiting three days to call after a first date.

In fact, people (men and women) want to hear from their date right away, if it went well. Some say even something as simple as a quick text that night is fine ("thanks for a great dinner" or "got home safe - thanks").

I suppose that makes sense. Our culture has become all about immediate results. We don't want to wait, we don't want any surprise or suspense. We just want to know. Now.

Even if you don't text that night, I think purposely waiting is silly. If your date on Friday went well, and you're thinking of him on Saturday - why not reach out? To me, holding out to see if he'll text first is a game. You're manipulating the situation to maintain the upper-hand. Which is great - if you're playing chess or planning an invasion.

I personally think relationships should involve more honesty and feelings, and fewer games and strategies.

Maybe I'm the one who's old-fashioned.

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