Thursday, December 8, 2011

Price of doing business

This story about a woman who supplemented her income by dating guys she met online broke a couple weeks ago. I heard it from Cute~Ella first, and then Kristi blogged about it over here. I stayed quiet because...well, because everyone was already talking about it, and I wasn't sure what I could really add.

Then this morning, I guess ABC was talking about it on a morning show, and a friend texted to tell me about it. Her question was, "Why is this news?"

That's what I said. Because, let's face it - this girl didn't invent anything.

I've joked before that I've gone on dates when I'm short on grocery money. Now, I've never set up a system, and gone out with men purely for that purpose - but I have agreed to a date when I was less than interested, simply because I really couldn't afford to buy food that week.

Is that awful? Maybe. Bad for my karma? I'm sure. But original? Most definitely not.

Neither is the concept that men take women out on expensive dates because they're expecting hoping to get "something" in return. If some guys treat women that way, why is it surprising that some women respond accordingly?

When I go on a date, whether it's the first or the fifth, I go with an open mind. If I meet a guy and I know there's no chemistry, I wouldn't continue to see him. On the flip-side, when I meet a guy I really like, I call it off with everyone else, even if it means I have to eat ramen noodles for a week.

Maybe that's where I differ from Ms. Manhattan-on-a-budget. But I still don't think I am in a position to judge her (and really, neither is anyone else). While what she did might seem hurtful over over-the-top to some, the truth is, we've all done something while we're dating that others might find questionable.

If you're single and dating, there's always a chance you'll give more than you get, make a bad decision, hurt someone whether it's intentional or not.

That's just the price of doing business.


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  6. You make some really good points on your blog!! Totally following.
    As for dating because you can't afford food, I'm not sure I feel about that. But I guess not having to buy your meals for a bit is nice.

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  8. I with you on the "What news?" thought-line. I don't see how what she was doing differs that greatly from Holly Golightly - in fact it seems less scandalous.
    And who doesn't love Breakfast at Tiffany's?

  9. Not a big deal..I think we have all done this in some way, shape, form or fashion. It might feel a little shameful to admit it, but it's true! And most men would never hesitate to do the same.

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  11. On one hand, I agree with you that a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. I think the main concern people had with her actions was whether or not she went into dates with zero intention of a relationship, simply looking for a free meal. Not that I can judge...I'm a sucker for a free meal.

    ~Stop Me if You've Heard This One

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  13. I kind of agree with you on that. It seems kind of preditorial of me to date a person just because I get a free meal out of the deal. But it is the honest truth of the matter. If a guy is taking a female to dinner, then he should pay. But with that is the implication of something more.

    With the advent of changed rules in dating, it could get pretty ugly quick if people are not clear with each other.
    And yes the rules have changed in dating. They changed the moment people changed how they date and how they meet people. The same rules just don't apply.

    Anyhow I'm off my soap box.

  14. Finally! Ablog from the Blogs of Note that might actually be worth following...congrats!

    Now I see how women work...they make us men feel all warm and fuzzy just so they can eat! Oh well! Most men don't mind being used!

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