Breakup stage - acceptance

I'd love to get to this stage. I (literally) pray everyday that I'll eventually reach a point where I accept my part in the breakup and start to learn from the relationship.

In this case - I'm not sure I'll ever know what I did (if anything) to cause this breakup. It's not like there was a third party or some huge fight. It just wasn't working out, and had a lot more to do with Trooper than it did with me.

So maybe for me, acceptance is going to be acknowledging that the issue was his, not mine, and finding a way to be okay with that.

There will be lessons, and things he brought to my life. Thanks to Trooper, I started going to church, and found that I really enjoyed, and found comfort in, the message. A couple people have suggested that maybe that was one of the reasons behind the relationship - that I needed someone to bring me closer to God, so Trooper came into my life to serve that purpose.

I've given that some thought. I think it's possible. Truthfully, it still makes me a little angry. I mean - it seems to me the lesson could have been taught in a slightly less painful way. Sheesh.

Another friend reminded me that it's not all about me; I left "footprints in his life" too. Maybe that was the purpose - for me to bring something to his life.

I'm not sure - and like I said, part of the healing for me has been to give some of this over to God, and part of that is accepting that I might never know. Maybe I'm not even meant to know.

I'm meant to accept, and learn, and heal, and move on. And that's the plan.