Radar

You know how people say dogs can smell fear? I think men can smell vulnerability, or sadness. Or maybe they have radar. You know - like bats.

Bats also have cooties, so I may be on to something.

Within days - literally - of my breakup with Trooper, I got an email from a guy with whom I went on one date 18 months ago. He asked how I was doing, and if I was seeing anyone. I explained I'd just been through a breakup. He thought we should go out and have a few laughs.

I disagreed.

I respectfully told him that I'm just not ready, and plan to take a break from dating for a while. He was nice; said he understood, and to get in touch with him if I changed my mind, or just needed a friend.

But then...

I got the text I knew was coming. Since we broke up in October (a process that actually started in September), Gardner has contacted me about once every other month. Just a quick text, to which I'd send a brief response, and then it would be over for another 60 days or so.

So I had a feeling a text would be coming. He asked how I was, I said fine. He asked if I'd gone on vacation (he knew I had plans), I said yes. He asked if me and my boyfriend had a good time.

I cringed.

I hate lying. First - I just don't like to do it. Second, I don't like feeling like it should be necessary. It feels like I'm being forced to play a game, and that just seems unnecessary. I should be able to say to a guy that I'm single, without him automatically assuming that means I'm interested.

So, I said to Gardner, "That vacation was not with him, and he's no longer my boyfriend."

His response? "Should I be happy about that?"

Huh? How should I know how you feel about something? Or why you'd even care in the first place?! Sheesh. When I asked that question, he said he was just inquiring who broke up with whom. So I was honest.

"He ended things with me."

Gardner shifted gears, sent a couple more brief texts, then went away. I was hoping he'd go away for at least the normal 60 days. He didn't.

A couple days later, I got a text inquiring how I'm doing. Then the following week - the same thing. And they continue....

I don't want to be a bitch. This could just be his effort to be a good friend. Maybe he just figures I could use a friend right now. Possibly he just wants to stay in touch, and he does this with all his friends now and then.

But if the past is any indication - his hope is that this will turn into us going out on a date. I don't want that. I'm not ready - and even if I was, he and I broke up for several reasons. My guess is, those reasons haven't changed.

So what I wanna know is....how come his radar doesn't get that signal?