Thursday, June 21, 2012

Dating dilemma

As I write this, I am not active on any dating websites. But it occurs to me that eventually, I may want to be again. Which brings me to my dilemma.

Online dating sites are by far the easiest way for me to meet dates. My social circle is made up of people who are in relationships. My friends don't seem interested in fixing me up with their single friends (which is fine; I completely understand). Meeting people at work isn't an option.

I can certainly join clubs and other organizations, and I do. Thing is, while joining a club pretty much guarantees you'll meet new people, there's no guarantee any of them are a part of your dating pool. 

With online dating, I can choose the criteria for the guy I'd be looking to meet, hit search, and - BAM! I get a list back with all the guys in the area that meet those criteria. And guess what? They're looking to date (or presumably I wouldn't be finding them on a dating site). 

Is it a guarantee? No. Does it always work? Obviously not. But it is as good a method as any, and it is just one more way to meet people. If meeting people is the name of the game - why would I shut down a perfectly good method of doing that very thing? 

But as I think about the decision I've made to have some faith, and put some trust in God's plan for my life, it occurs to me that, if I'm meant to meet someone, he'll come into my life when it's time. If I keep trying to force things, I may just be setting myself up to continue meeting the wrong people.

On the other hand, sitting back and waiting for God (or the universe or the Easter Bunny - whoever is in charge of such things) to drop a boyfriend in my lap feels....well, passive. And weak. 

In any other area of my life, anyone would tell me I can't just sit back and wait for something to happen. Want a career change? Figure out what you want to do, and how to make it happen. Want to lose weight? Time to make some lifestyle changes. Want to get rich? Plan a budget. Nothing good comes to people who just sit around waiting for their life to improve - you have to do something about it.

So if all the other positive changes in my life require me to take action - shouldn't finding love work the same?  

Or is that the one time I am supposed to just sit back and trust that things will happen in their own time? 


  1. I always said that it doesn't hurt to meet new people, but when it's Time, it will happen. You might make some good friends, you'll likely have some ego boosts, and hell, it makes for some great blog fodder and fabulous text messages to amuse yourself and friends with til the right one comes along.

  2. I really should email you about my most recent date (last Friday) with someone from's a doozy ;) Your thoughts and mine about meeting someone are pretty similiar...if you figure it out, let me know.

  3. Old Lady chiming in, "You Can't Hurry Love", however everyone you meet has friends, enemies and family. Huge pool of fish out there, ya gotta get a pole.