Wednesday, November 14, 2012

A lesson in hope

I spent a day at the gym, distracting myself with pain and sweat, trying to think through all the different lessons that I've learned over the last few years. I came up with quite a few before my legs screamed, "Go home!"

I've talked before about communication and self-esteem. Those are big ones for me. The good news is, those things are within my control. I can decide to improve communication, and I can choose to see myself in a different light.

But this is love I'm talking about here - it's not all in my control. A lot of it is luck and timing and just what fate and God and the universe and Cupid have planned.

So where does hope fall in all of this?

It's a funny thing, hope. Too much, and you set yourself up with unrealistic expectations - and huge let-downs. Not enough, and you don't look forward to anything. Where's the balance? What's the right amount?

Part of me doesn't want to hope. Ever. I feel like every time I let myself be even the tiniest bit positive, I have the rug pulled out from underneath me. But another part of me thinks that life is just better with hope. You never know if the next day might be the best day of your life - but without hope, you'll never get there.

Maybe the trick is to hope for the best. Hope for things to turn out the way they're meant to. Speak positive thoughts. Smile more than not. Laugh whenever possible. Be prepared for a little disappointment, but realize that even when that happens, something good could still be on its way.

I think the trick is have just enough hope that you know there's something good in your future, but not so much that you miss out on your present because you're always looking ahead.

I guess I'll start by hoping I can do all of that.


  1. I have a mantra... well, a series of thoughts... that goes through my head.
    Especially when I am feeling let down by the universe.

    Everything happens for a reason.
    Good things come to those who wait.
    Even though it's the right time for you, it doesn't mean it's the right time.
    The right thing, will happen at the right time.
    I have my health, I have my family, my friends, and a job. All positive things.
    I am better than I was last year.

    A lot of thoughts... right?
    I find myself reciting them ... once or twice a month.

    1. I like all those thoughts. I am constantly reminding myself that everything happens for a reason. Even when the reason isn't obvious.

  2. I also wonder if something GenWar said applies to you as well. That thing about being okay with being alone, really, truly accepting and being okay with the fact that you might not meet someone you're long term compatible with romantically.

    And that's ok too. You can have hope that you'll find what you want, but to be truly okay with the fact that you might not and it not being the end of the world.

    Sure sharing your life and having companionship is nice, but if it doesn't happen on a romantic level, is it the end of the world? Or do you have a fulfilling, interesting, and enjoyable life without it?

    (And I never said GenWar was right for the record. His wife wouldn't approve.)