Monday, November 19, 2012

Top ten worst things to say in an online dating profile

I took a break from my dating nap to troll review some online dating profiles for friends. No, seriously, this all did start because I went looking for a friend.

We know the major problems with online dating profiles: Spelling and grammatical errors, swearing, racist or sexist comments (or really, any sort of "ists"), insults, etc.

But I think sometimes genuinely nice guys who truly mean well choose their words poorly, and come across in a way that isn't what they intend. So I put together a list of ten phrases that send me running, and why. You're welcome.

10 - No bipolar/crazy women
Also seen as: Drama queens need not apply, or any derivative thereof.
This suggests that you meet a lot of "crazy" women. Which tells me you are probably a little crazy yourself - "birds of a feather" and all. It also suggests that you may be the sort of guy who takes perfectly normal women and makes them crazy, which explains why all the women you meet are crazy.

9   - I love to laugh
No kidding - who doesn't? Tell me something that's not obvious.

8   - I'm lonely
Bad news. This suggest you're clingy and/or just looking for a warm body to fill a void. That means that as soon as you figure out what you really want, whatever poor soul is with you at the time will probably be dropped like yesterday's garbage. Who would sign up for that?

7   - I like to go out, but I also like to stay in
This suggests either a) you don't know what you like or b) you are that guy who just says whatever he thinks the other person wants to hear. If you like to go out - say so! Any reasonable person will assume that you are also willing to stay home now and then.

6   - I'm looking for a "good" woman
What, exactly, does this mean? The only thing slightly worse would be saying you're looking for a "good girl." Seriously? I would not respond to that - because I am a woman. If you're looking for a girl, I'm probably not for you.

5   - I hate liars
Again - who doesn't? Don't state the obvious, and don't let on that you assume all women are liars. Also, for the love of all that's good - it's liars, not liers.

4   - I know what a woman wants
This assumes that you think all women want the same thing - which proves that you have absolutely no idea what women want. Also, let's face it - if you had nothing to learn, you would probably not be single.

3   - I'm just checking this out
Why not just write, "I'm looking for an easy out, because I don't really want to commit" and get it over with?

2   - I'm not after your money
Seen also as: I can take care of myself; I have a life, a car, all my teeth,etc.
This tells me you've been rejected a lot - and that you think it's because women assume you're a loser. Thing is - there are plenty of women willing to date losers. If there is something so wrong with you that not even they will talk to you - why should I?

1   - .....Look for tomorrow's post....

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