"All you can do right now is live your life, and see what happens next."That's what my counselor reminded me about my post-first-date situation with Mr. Ding-a-Ling. We couldn't schedule a second date right away, and until I get to the second date, I don't really know what's next.
Which I suppose is always true - but under most circumstances, the second date is planned pretty quickly and you know where you stand. In this case, I don't, and it was not sitting well with me.
"I suck at that."
"Well maybe it's something you need to get better at."
"You mean like eating spinach; I hate it, but I have to do it because it's good for me."Life, I suppose, is full of situations where you have to learn to do something not because you want to - but because you should.
I am personally very bad at doing things just because I should. I like things to make sense. I like them to fall in line. I don't care how long I have to wait for something - but I like to know it's coming, and I'm not just waiting around for something that might never happen.
My counselor suggested that part of my issue might be that I'm so sure of what I want, I keep looking around the corner to see if it's there. Since chances are true love isn't going to announce itself, all that looking just creates a lot of disappointment and anxiety - which is why I'm not so good at this part.
I suppose the lesson is to stop looking ahead. Accept that I know what I want - and remember that no matter what, in something like love and relationships, there are never guarantees. Even if I know something's coming, there's no way to know when/if it will actually show up, or that it will look like I expect when it does.
Even if I take a proactive approach, I don't ever really control the situation. At the end of the day, I'm at the mercy of what the other person wants, and ultimately, what the universe (cupid, God, the Easter Bunny, whoever) has planned.
That leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
Also, kind of like spinach.