Thursday, March 21, 2013

So there's these two guys...

I've been seeing two guys. Let me be clear - it's casual with both, no one has asked for exclusivity and no one has promised it either. But I assume it's heading in the general direction of that conversation, so I need to figure something out. Like, now.

I have a nice time with both. I have enough in common with both that the conversation is good and silence (when we have it) is not uncomfortable.

I find Bachelor #1 to be very sexy and good looking. I also like that when we don't agree on something down to the letter, he's not afraid to share his opinion, but he'll also listen to mine. He challenges me which is cool. We laugh a lot. But he and I don't agree on some fundamentals - like living arrangments, whether it's OK to have a corporate job, responsibility, and some morality.

The truth is, as much as I like him, I'm not sure #1 and I have a real shot at anything more than just casual dating.

On the other hand, Bachelor #2 and I see eye-to-eye on those issues. He's established, responsible, thoughtful, respectful. He's attentive, kind, funny. He's all the things you want a guy to be (or at least, I want a guy to be). But there's no challenge - he agrees with just about everything I say. I'm not even sure if he actually agrees with me, or he's just saying it because he doesn't want to disagree. Though he's handsome, there's no real "wow" factor.

So now what do I do?

On the one hand, #1 has been taking his time - but maybe that's a good thing. I tend to rush into things (or out of them). Maybe what this needs is a chance to grow.

But #2 seems like he'd rush into a relationship right now. Which makes me wonder if he's just checking off a list of criteria, and since I meet the minimum requirements, he's going to settle before he really knows me.

It has occurred to me that maybe I just need to stop seeing both of them. That if the choice is difficult, maybe it's because I'm just trying to figure out where to settle.

I haven't felt that moment where I just know with either guy. So maybe it's time to move along and keep looking?

Thoughts, suggestions, comments all welcome. Please!


  1. Would you really compromise your values and ethics for "wow" factor? C'mon, GGS. :(

    1. I wouldn't. When I said we don't agree on morality, I was talking more about him thinking I'm amoral because I work for a corporation. He's less tolerant of our differences than I am, in some ways. I'm not going to change, and I don't expect he will either, which is why I think we can't do more than casually date. I think he's OK with that; I'm not sure I am.

    2. Sorry to tag along on this comment.

      What you just said "He's less tolerant of our differences than I am".

      That's Klay and I. We agree on a lot. But, there are some things that we will disagree with, IN A BIG WAY. In which, during and after those disagreements we look at each other like "You're a moron".

      We still love each other when it's over.

      I'm also glad that he doesn't feel the need to just agree with me.

  2. Okay.. now my own comment.. others feel free to tag along...

    If it's just casual in both situations.. And no one is really rushing to get in or out of any type of relationship...

    Just keep casually going?
    Unless, it's awkward to casually date two men..
    I've never had that happen.. so I have no perspective there.

    Just take out the option of "picking one" until that situation arises on both sides of the table. If one would like to be picked.. or to move forward.. then entertain the thought... If it doesn't feel right at that moment, it will probably never feel right.

  3. I say if you like seeing both, keep seeing both until a decision has to be made and then listen to your gut...or mine.

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  5. This quote isn't exactly applicable, but something to keep in mind. I was the first and "most practical" choice and I wish he would have broken it off with me early on when he had strong feelings for someone else.

    “If you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second.” -Johnny Depp