Monday, June 6, 2011

Don't chase, replace

I haven't heard from TG in a week. Around day four, I figured that I would probably not hear from him again, unless I reached out. After some back and forth, I decided against that, for a couple of reasons.

First of all, I really don't want to be the chaser at this point. Aside from my ex husband, I've always been the chaser. Even with Big; though he certainly initiated a lot of our relationship, in the end, I was still chasing. I chased what I wanted; some vision I had in my mind of the relationship we had, even if it really wasn't there.

TG always said he was really busy, and I know that it was true. But, it's also true that if you meet someone and you're really, truly interested, you find a way to make room - or at least to let them know that want to, but can't. It's also true that TG carries a phone with him that could probably launch missiles with the right app - so he could certainly send me a text, if he wanted.

After four dates, I'll admit - I kind of felt I deserved some explanation. When it became clear that wasn't going to happen, I realized I could put him on the spot. I could force him to admit he didn't want to see me anymore, and tell me why.

But that felt like chasing, so I decided to leave it alone, and let him fade away.

I suppose some might say that's weak. But, the truth is, I don't see any reason. After four dates, he'd know if he was feeling a connection. If he's not, and I press the issue, he'll have nothing but cruel, nasty things to say to me - and I really don't need to hear any of that.

A bigger reason? I didn't like when someone put me in a situation that forced me to explain how I was feeling. Even though I think four dates is different than one, the truth is, TG and I never really advanced past the point of friendship - so, pressing the issue with him would make me no better than when Sean pressed it with me. I have to treat others the way I want to be treated, right?

But the biggest reason I didn't chase TG? Because if a guy isn't man enough to tell me, straight up, that he doesn't want to see me again - then he isn't someone worth chasing in the first place.

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