So, he had a good time. Which says to me that he was on a completely different date than I was. Nevertheless, I had to do something.
So, I texted my friend, who said I had two choices:
- Ignore him and hope he goes away
- Tell the truth
So, I responded and said I'd enjoyed dinner (not a total lie; my food was good) but that I just didn't think there was a connection. Good, right?
Wrong. He asked me to tell him why I felt that way.
I told him it was something that was hard to explain, but there was something I wasn't feeling - and I didn't want to lead him on. That seems to have put it to rest....but it left me with a question
Is that a bit much, for one date? I mean - when Big ended things, I really wanted to know why; I wanted to understand, and I felt I was owed as much. But that was after a year; not a week. We'd been on dozens of dates, not one. I was invested, and thought he was too, and I wanted to understand what changed.
But is there a difference, if you've just met? I've had guys just fade away after we chatted for a while, or not call again after one date. I don't really give it a second thought - I figure they weren't interested and I move on. They don't owe me anything, so why would I ask them? How would they even know what it is that's missing, or what they don't like?
Is there a point in a relationship where an explanation is required? Or is it a personality thing? Are there some people who just need the explanation, no matter how long it's been or what's gone on between you?