Monday, May 13, 2013


One of the things I like best about Match, that other dating sites lack, is the fact that the profiles tell what the person's criteria is (if any). For example, right next to the profile picture, information like this appears:
MrPerfect is looking for women ages 26-38 within 50 miles of Albany, NY
Of course, nothing is without exceptions. I mean, Prince Charming searched the whole kingdom for Cinderella, and her shoes didn't even fit right. You can't plan who you'll love.

Still, now I know that if I'm 40 and live 100 miles away from him - even if all else is perfect - there's probably little reason to email him. Or if I do, I should at least be prepared that he may not be willing to step outside those requirements.

At the bottom of a Match profile, you can share even more information about the person you hope to meet. If you have preferences for race, religion, education, income, lifestyle (smoking, drinking, etc), body-type - even hair and eye color, for those who only date blue-eyed blondes!

Most people don't go into too much detail in this section. One thing almost everyone completes is the body-type they find attractive. I actually find this pretty helpful. I'm not even close to being "athletic and toned" or "thin" so if a guy specifically states that's what he finds attractive, why waste his time, or mine?

Whether you follow people's criteria without exception, or prefer to take a chance here and there, I still think it's worth respecting what they say they want. I mean - hopefully they know best what will work for their life, right?

I have been approached by many, many men who are considerably younger than me. On OKCupid, I get it

Guess they're hoping I'm a cougar.
 - it's a totally different circumstance. Plus, my profile doesn't actually say that I want to meet people in a certain age-range.

But on Match? A guy 10 years my junior approached me last week. He even said to me, "I know I'm younger than your profile states you want - does that bother you?"

Well, yeah. Especially since his profile specifically said he "definitely" wants to have kids someday - and mine says I definitely don't. When I pointed this out, he said, "That's OK. I work a lot right now, so not having kids is not an issue."

Great - so you don't want to have kids right this second. But the thing're 28! That will probably change, especially since you already know you want a family. So why on Earth would you approach a woman who is past the age where she can safely have kids, and who is saying she definitely does not want them - ever?

My profile actually says I am looking for men my age and older (I say up to 49; I can't bring myself to admit I could date a 50-year-old, yet). Why? Not because I have anything against younger guys - but with older men, the issue of having kids is usually eliminated. Either they already have and don't want more, or they've decided they never want kids. Either way - problem solved!

I usually avoid men who are looking for younger women - especially if they're in their forties, and they're looking for a woman in her twenties. I figure either they're still hoping to meet someone who can have kids - or they're just emotionally immature, and have found their games don't work on women their own age. Either way - not for me.

I don't believe in having a type. Opposites attract all the time, and you never know with whom you'll find a connection. Sometimes it's worth a little extra effort, just to see what might happen.

But don't completely discount what someone says they want. Even if you don't think it has anything to do with you, it might offer a little insight into the person you're potentially trying to meet. Who someone chooses to spend time and effort on says an awful lot about him.

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