Thursday, May 2, 2013

Safety first

Safety is a big deal when you're dating. Especially when you're a woman, and dating online. Anyone can get scammed, but women also have to worry about their own physical safety.

[Though, according to last night's episode of Criminal Minds, guys should watch out too!]

A few weeks back, I met this man on Plenty of Fish. To describe him as attractive would be the understatement of the year. He seemed very nice - but something just felt off. He texted everyday, and seemed like he wanted to meet. But his suggestion for a date was questionable.

He lives near a park, and thought we could meet and sit in my car and talk for a little while.

Now - I've dated guys who live in this neighborhood. Parking is difficult at best. Sometimes the park is the only option. So I wasn't shocked he suggest that's where I park - but to suggest that as a date?!

I thought maybe transportation was an issue for him, which I understand. But this is a very walkable area - plenty of coffee shops and small restaurants to meet.

I kept putting it off, hoping he'd figure something else out. He finally suggested meeting at a nearby coffee shop, which worked fine. The day of, though, he was out of town and unsure about what time he could meet. In confirming with him, I had an uneasy feeling, so I told him I had plans for later, and was just hoping to get some coffee and chat for a while.

He said sure, but he figured we'd either go back to his place or go sit in my car.

I told him I wasn't comfortable with either option, and he reluctantly agreed to just sit and talk in the coffee shop.

Based on his attitude, I figured the meeting would just be a waste of time (mine and his). We were obviously not on the same page, and his agenda seemed quite different from mine. Whether he was up to no good, I wasn't sure - but I wasn't about to ignore the warning signs.

So, I (politely and nicely) told him while I was sure he is a very nice guy, I just didn't think we were on the same page. Seemed silly to meet when our agendas are obviously very different. I apologized for the short notice, and wished him a lovely evening.

He didn't seem at all upset.

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