Shields Down

November 2009...

So we kept seeing each other. We went to the movies, dinner, and shopping. We went to a couple of cheap concerts, and hung out on Halloween. I was really enjoying myself - although, I will confess, I was still dating other people. We never talked about being exclusive, and I wasn't sure it was what he (or I) wanted.

Still, if I wanted to go out, it was usually him I would ask. If he asked me to go out, I almost always said yes. I just wanted a sign of how he really felt. 

Around Thanksgiving, we spent a day together, just hanging out; movies, lunch, etc. I found out that he spent that whole day with me, walking the malls and through parking lots - all on an injured foot. So, he suffered that whole day just to spend time with me?

I remember thinking - wow, this guy must really be sincere. Why would anyone put himself through that just to spend time with someone, unless he really did have feelings?

I'd been burned before by someone rushing the relationship - and then deciding it wasn't what he really wanted. But it had been almost two months with Big - and things were still going well. I wanted to believe that he was as honest as he claimed to be, and that he had his act together. The guy he was showing me would never put on a pretense. Plus, he had no reason, right? If he didn't like me, he would just tell me so, and we could both move on.   

If I didn't take a risk, I might lose my chance. What good was protecting my heart, if I never opened it up to anyone? I decided to let my guard down....