Wednesday, October 24, 2012

One-hit wonder

So I know I'm supposed to be thinking positively and not getting down on myself. But sometimes that's easier said than done.

I finally met Mr. Ding-a-Ling (I literally giggle every time I type that). Turns out, his current work situation, along with a part of his family situation, has him somewhat between permanent homes. He has a stable job, and is living out of ridiculously nice hotels while that gets squared away. By no means does he not have his act together (just the opposite, actually), but his current circumstances did make it challenging to schedule a date.

After he cancelled our first plans, I asked for a little reassurance he was still legitimately interested in meeting me - and that he wasn't just looking for a hook-up. While I understand sometimes that's all something ends up being, there's a big difference between just ending up as a "friend," and going into it with that expectation.

Found it here
I felt pretty confident that we were on the same page. That being the case, I agreed to a date that would require me driving, and meeting him when his work would bring him close enough to my area. So I did. This also meant our first date would have a very awkward, she-drove-all-this-way-should-she-stay-in-my-hotel-room component.

I didn't want that. First of all, the absolute last place I ever want to be is somewhere I'm not wanted. I would absolutely not want for him to feel he was stuck being hospitable because I drove a ways to have dinner. If we're not clicking - we're not clicking. If that was the case - I also wouldn't want to feel trapped. Nothing like a good hostage situation to ruin a perfectly good meal.

He asked me point-blank, "Is your plan to stay or drive down and back that night?" I told him I'd come prepared to stay, but we could decide that night if it made sense for me to do so. The truth is, I'd have gotten back in the car and gone home; and the reality is, my cousin lives about 15 minutes from where I was, so I had a very safe alternative.

I told you - it may not always seem like I have my stuff under control, but I usually do.

All I'll say is: It was a great first date, and went as well as I could have hoped. We talked, we laughed, and we had good food. He shares my love of all things sweet (yay!). He also shares my love of technology and had no issue with me checking my phone (double yay!). He's so incredibly good-looking I had to force myself not to stare at him. Or drool in my pasta.

After the date was over, though, I found myself what? His schedule makes it so hard to plan dates, it's not like I can text him in a day or two and see if he wants to get together again. That fairly simple, innocent question - "Do you want to do this again?" - usually helps answer the more complicated, underlying question - "Was our date a one-hit wonder, or the first in a string of potential hits?"

In other words - I like you; do you like me back?

Even though we've been talking for a few weeks, and have both said we feel like we've known each other forever and feel very comfortable with each other, it's not an easy question to ask. At least if you can just keep making plans, it sort of evolves naturally.

I suppose I could wait and see. I mean, I'll either hear from him again, or I won't. If I do, I could just say, "Are you interested in getting together again sometime?" His answer would (with any luck) lead to a more in-depth conversation about where we both see things going (or not).

But who are we kidding? We all know I suck at waiting.

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