Monday, August 5, 2013

Alternate dating profile

I try to keep my dating profiles very positive and upbeat. First - I can't stand reading woe-is-me type profiles, so why would I write one? Second - a positive profile will (should - in theory) attract positive people.

So I avoid negative words and phrases. I talk about things I like, things I do, and what I want. I try to avoid saying I won't do something, or I talking about things I dislike, or any phrase that sounds like "don't message me if..."

Since I also try to put this same positive spin on life, it turns out this is a pretty fair representation of my personality. But every now and then, I don't feel positive. I'm human; I occasionally feel sad, or angry, or frustrated, or just plain tired and defeated.

I sometimes wish I could have a second profile, for those days. I imagine it would say something like this:

Found it here
In search of blog material

I have a job that I don't really like, but it pays my bills. Well - most of them. I like to shop, and I work several freelance jobs on the side to try and pay off the extra. As a result, I have little free time - and I write a dating blog.

I don't really like to go to the gym, but it helps offset my junk-food preference. No, I don't like to hike, bike, or kayak, so please don't ask. I'd rather be at the mall.

Please don't message me if you're clingy, needy, controlling, or just out of a relationship. Please don't ask me to share anything - closet space, a remote, too much of my time, or my feelings.

You most likely won't have all the qualities I want, but if you have just a couple, I might keep you around while still dating other guys. Even you do happen to have all the qualities that I want, I'll likely still get bored - or scared - and eventually find a reason to cut you loose.

Despite all that, I think I'm an OK catch. I can take care of myself, have plenty of friends, love my hobbies, and am generally happy being single. I'm reasonably cute, and I have nice style and great shoes. I'm also pretty funny.

As a matter of fact - you should consider yourself lucky just to be added to the rotation. If it doesn't work out, at least you'll make good blog material.


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