Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Just passing through

I keep meeting men who are unemployed, just out of a relationship, don't have a car, live at home, haven't dated in a while - or have several of those things going on at once.

I'm the first to admit - I can be a bit of a sob. But I'm not so shallow as to judge people harshly for going through rough times. We all have them, and we're all susceptible to a crash-and-burn at any time.

I do try to avoid dating guys in these situations - but I swear it's not because I'm snobby.

It's because the idea of dating someone whose life is in transition makes me nervous that he will transition right out of the relationship. With my luck, that would likely happen right about the time I started to trust things and get invested.

I understand no one can predict the future. Even the most stable guy could up and leave (trust me - no one gets this better than me).

I just feel like my life is pretty stable and consistent. My act is (mostly) together. I feel like a guy in a similar situation is the best fit for me.

People in transition need flexibility. They need someone who is understanding and willing to easily let go, when the time comes.

I can do that. I'm just not sure I want to. Finding casual dates is fine (and relatively easy).

What I'd like is to find someone who is doing more than just passing through.

1 comment:

  1. Klay was living at home with his parents, when I met him. He, 6 years prior, had gotten out of a BAD relationship.. That had ended in BUFFALO.

    He closed off. He dated, but nothing that got too close.

    We met.
    We both saw something...

    I had a pretty stable environment, and he was just kind of "Getting by"...

    3 years later,we own a home together, have an amazing relationship.. and he, Emry (my son) and I.. are a REAL family...

    As I do understand where you are coming from, that mostly people in these "transitional" periods, may not always be a good choice to date...

    I do also think that you need to be open, to SEE something... and to be THAT person FOR someone... who brings them out of the darkness, and inspires them to have a wonderful life with you.