Wednesday, August 14, 2013

It depends

Men keep asking me out. They suggest getting together - but then don't want to commit to a time, or plan.
"It depends what time I'm done with practice."
"It depends what time I get on the road."
"It depends what my kids want to do."
"It depends if I get called into work."
Listen - I do my best to be flexible and accommodating. Especially when it concerns kids - I know those situations can be delicate. Of course I understand that work, family, friends, etc. all need a place on your calendar.

The thing is...if you're dating, that needs a place, too.

I'm a planner. Not because I necessarily like it (I actually don't). I plan because I have to, in order to fit everything in.

You're probably thinking, "But you don't have kids." True - but I work full-time, I have four - yes, four - part-time jobs, and I volunteer an average of 3-5 hours a week. Plus I take care of a house, try to get to the gym, and occasionally I like to sleep. Fun isn't out of the question, but it won't happen if it's not on the calendar.

I have a life. Regardless of how I fill my time, it's wildly disrespectful of anyone to treat my time as if it's less valuable than theirs.

Before you say it, yes I realize men don't think like women. No, not all these men mean disrespect - some just aren't good at planning. I understand that - but I also know plenty of men who plan right down to the last second. So while it may not come naturally to all guys, it's certainly not a biological impossibility.

Besides, most of these guys can plan where they'll be every Sunday from September to January, but I'm supposed to believe they can't commit to a time and place for dinner this weekend? I call BS.

The bottom line is this: I want to feel like seeing me is important enough to be a priority sometimes. Not all the time. Not even necessarily most of the time. I just need to be a priority some of the time.

If you show me I'm not, will I see you again? It depends.


  1. I really see your point. My OCD necessitates a schedule, and a plan... But, when it came down to dating... I realized that I had to meet in the middle.

    Klay is not a scheduled man.. by any means... But, I had to give a little...

    And, I have a kid, and a full time job, and I volunteer and keep a clean (OCD CLEAN) house.

    Still... I had to learn to let a little go.. and sometimes just go with the flow.

    Not saying you should... but, if it's the right man, and he's willing to come up and meet you half way as well.. It might be worth a try.

    1. I'd be more than happy to meet someone half way. It seems like most of the guys I've met as of late want everything their way, and I'm not OK with that.

      I figure when the guy is right, the compromise will go both ways, and I won't mind at all. :)