|Generally speaking, having to chase|
someone is a bad sign in dating.
Those are extreme scenarios; those guys have elevated avoiding intimacy to an art form. Most people I know have far less-carefully constructed defenses to keep intimacy at bay.
For most parents, meeting their kids is when they're most vulnerable, and therefore that's probably the most intimate thing a parent can share. Most parents I know hold off on that introduction until they're really sure of the relationship. So, if you're getting an audience with Junior, you know you're in.
For many, it's a question of sharing your true feelings - what you really want, need, and what scares you about a relationship.
For me personally, it's letting someone into the rest of my life. I think of myself as a barrier between different parts of my life. Work doesn't touch home, family doesn't touch friends, etc. When I let them overlap, it's a sign I feel comfortable. So if I let a date meet my friends, see my house, or even see me at my not-quite-best, it's me letting down my defenses.
So what does this all mean? For starters, I guess it means you need to be aware of your own intimacy hang-ups. What's OK and what isn't, for you?
It also means you need to acknowledge that everyone is different. Just because a guy isn't affectionate doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't have feelings - and just because a person invites you to her home doesn't mean she does, either.
So, what's a single gal (or guy) to do?