Friday, January 28, 2011

Progress report

It's been about two weeks since I started this love cleanse project. Truth be told, I could see this going on for much longer than thirty days - but that's the "official" amount of time. So with two more weeks to go, I feel...

Good. I really do. It's nice to look forward to my weekends and not stress at all about whether or not so-and-so will ask me out, and if he does, what will I wear, or will our schedules fit, etc. It's also nice to know I can just make plans with friends, or for myself, without worrying about anyone else's schedule or feelings, or worrying that I'll make him angry or alienate him if I'm not available (a big problem I always had when dating).

For anyone worried that I'd be sitting around moping - not so. I spent a weekend with family, have had three meetups (two dinner, one bowling), gone to dinner and movies with friends twice, hosted a home party, shoveled my driveway countless times, and hung wallpaper border in my bathroom. I also cleaned my house from top to bottom, wrote a ton of posts for various blogs, caught up at work and I've been to the gym a few times.

In addition to that, I made a major change - I started going to bed earlier. Not only that, but before I go to bed each night, I spend some quality time with my e-reader - no social networking allowed. This is a major step for me - but sleep is healthy and something I wasn't getting nearly enough of when I was dating. Not only that, but going to sleep earlier helps me get up earlier, which allows me more gym time - which is a good thing.

All in all - I have to say, I'm kind of liking my life. I feel a little silly that I'm not looking for love - almost wondering if those who don't look for it really deserve to find it? But I keep seeing little reminders every where that love isn't really something we find - it's something that finds us.

If that's the case, I guess I'll just keep doing my thing.


  1. YAY! So glad you're feeling good. I've always found that being busy for me is the best way to feel better about something...after all, when you focus on other things, you find out that many things just don't matter for right now.

  2. I too am glad you're feeling better! I need to feel better...perhaps I'll investigate this love cleanse.

  3. Thank you ladies!!

    Autumn - when things first ended with Big, I was not ready to do the Love Cleanse thing (for real, anyway). I tried it - but failed.

    I'm not sure what's different now. Maybe I'm in a better frame of mind - or maybe I'm just s'darn sick of boys. Either way, it really is working, and it gets me to look at myself more closely, which I needed.