Monday, January 10, 2011

Who's callin' who crazy?

Have you read this book? I downloaded the full version to my e-reader, and will be reading it in 2011 (I swear). A few months back, in search of something - anything - that could help me make sense of things, I bought the pocket-guide version. This abridged version gives "daily wake-up calls" - which is something I (often desperately) need.

A lot of it makes sense. It talks about all the excuses we make for guys who are treating us poorly, in an effort to find reasons to stay with them. You know, because dating someone who is not treating us well is better than not dating anyone at all.


So, if this book is true, and behavior that points to a guy not being into a girl, then the opposite behavior must suggest that he is into her, right? Easy example: If a guy doesn't make time for a girl, he's not into her; by the same token, if a guy goes out of his way to make time for a girl, he must be into her.

Is that true? I'm not sure anymore. Men (not just Big) have often treated me in ways that suggest they were "into" me - only to come clean and tell me later that they never were. I don't get it.

One daily wake-up reminded me of this post, by my friend Sassy Singleton. Go read it; I'll wait.


Got it? He was "busy," right? The wake-up call says, "The word busy is the relationship Weapon of Mass Destruction. It seems like a good excuse, but in fact, in every silo you uncover, all you're going to find is a man who didn't care enough to call. Remember: Men are never too busy to get what they want."

Now, Sassy's smart, funny and cool. She's got a good head on her shoulders for this kind of thing, and she was having none of the bullshit excuses confusing miscommunication. He eventually got in touch with her and made plans. So - was he legitimately busy? Maybe it wasn't an excuse?, to recap: Guys act like they're into us when they're not - and act like they're not when they really are. But only sometimes, and we should be able to tell the difference.

And women are crazy?


  1. AWESOME post - and as usual I agree 100%.

    Jack and I were talking about that last night. I have to say that it amazes me, what a grown-up he is. He again apologized profusely and explained the situation with what his busy week had been like. He also realized later that day that I interpreted his texts the way that I (naturally) did, and when he came to that conclusion he got in touch and apologized right away because he didn't want me to think that he wasn't interested. I was absolutely impressed, since my experience has pretty much exclusively been that "I'm busy" leads to the vanishing act.

    Still, just to be on the safe side, maybe I should re-read that book ...

  2. Thanks!

    I am glad that jack explained. BIG points.

    It's still funny to me how often guys (Big especially) have behaved as though they were "into" me - only to turn around and say they never were.

    I guess that just proves that my life does not fit a formula. Which should come as no surprise to anyone.