My friends really are the best. The minute I told my close circle that Mr. 28-Year-Old had called things off, they rallied, making sure I was okay. Of course they were all worried I might take this whole thing the same way I took the Big thing.
I'm happy to say, I did not.
First of all - it hadn't been as long, so I wasn't quite as invested. Don't get me wrong - I like the guy a lot, and I am really disappointed that it didn't work out. It just hadn't gotten as far and as a result, I guess I don't feel like I lost as much.
What I did lose, though, is the will to keep trying. At least for now. In keeping with my resolution, I'm not going to go looking for love. I won't close myself off from love; but I it's going to have to find me. When/if it does - it's going to have to work hard to get (and keep) me, too.
With Big, I lost everything - my self-respect, my happiness, my ability to trust. Plus, I lost him. That's hard; to lose someone else. We don't control others, so if someone doesn't want to be around, there's nothing we can do.
But I do get to control how I feel about me. So, if I notice something is undermining my shine - I can stop that. Which is exactly what I mean to do.
My friends all agree that this is the best thing. That a break, sometimes, is exactly what you need.
We also all agree that when I do date again - it should definitely not be with anyone who lives in that apartment building.