Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Real romance

A friend (and awesome blogger) posted last week about how it's funny that something that seems so difficult with one person can seem so easy with another.

I commented that at one point during my "Big" relationship, I wanted him to be my date at a large family party. We'd been together almost a year by then - asking that question should have been easy. But it wasn't. It was so difficult, in fact, that I waited until the last possible minute, and then slipped it in at the end of a date. After a year? Really? Should it have been that difficult?

My friends say no. That if something is right, it's easy from the beginning. I wonder if that's true?

It makes sense. If you can't be who you are - say what you think, ask a simple question - maybe you're not with the right person? Are we just too stubborn to realize that sometimes obstacles are in our way to keep us from traveling down the wrong road? Or are we so convinced that true love is more romantic if we have to fight for it?

Maybe the real romance is finally knowing who you are, and finding someone with whom you're not afraid to just be you.


  1. First of all, thanks for the shout out! :) Second of all, it still amazes me how simple it was when I finally asked him to go with me. Admittedly, it didn't quite work out the way I wanted it to - but still.

    There's something to be said for a comfort level with your boyfriend/girlfriend/partner/SO/plus one. The thing is, I don't know if it really is supposed to be that way right from the beginning, because - let's be honest here - are you REALLY being the "real you" right off the bat? I would love to say yes here, but I am always just a bit more charming, a bit more funny, a bit more ... just MORE in the beginning, and I know for a fact the guys I've dated are too. The problem is, I think, once you hit the stride in your relationship and the guards are down and you begin to (*fingers crossed*) fall in love with the real him (and vice versa), THAT'S when you have to let your guard down. And I think in those instances - like with Big and your family party, or me and the TC and the family wedding I had to go to - if the comfort level isn't there, then you have a problem.

    That said - I think finding someone who loves the you that is YOU is the best blessing of all...I think that's what we all want. I know I do.

    Great post, as always. :)

  2. Thanks - and you're welcome on the shout out!

    I think you're right; I definitely think I'm *more* in the beginning, too. So the nervousness is normal - expected. But at some point, everyone should be comfortable enough to relax and just be who they are. If you never get there - then yeah, problem.

    I want the same thing. Now that I'm finally figuring out who I am, I just want someone who cares about that person. That'd be a definite blessing.