Monday, January 31, 2011

Fit the formula?

I found this article (Noooo, I wasn't visiting the site - somebody tweeted it!) and it got me thinking about the whole process of meeting people.

We spend so much time trying to fit in, don't we? It starts when we're little kids; we're taught to go along with the pack, follow the rules, and not to make waves. By the time anyone tries to teach us to be unique - we're already one of the sheep.

It's the same with dating. Don't be too heavy or too thin, too smart or too dumb, too tall or too rich - you have to be just right. If you're not - try to hide your flaws. There are dozens (hundreds?) of sites where you can get advice on how to put your profile together so that it fits a formula.

But how does a formula help showcase you? Yeah, you'll get emails, and winks and high ratings and whatever else the sites can come up with to feed our egos. But you won't get quality connections, because no one is really seeing you.

Here's my interpretation of the article (keeping in mind it's all about the male opinion of female profiles):

Woman (A) might be a "7" across the board, but get few emails because she doesn't stand out
Woman (B) might be a "7" because some guys think she's a 10, and others only think she's a 3 or a 4; but the guys who think she's a 10 send her emails

So, B (a 3 by some standards) is getting approached more often than A, who is always a 7.

Why? There's something about B that some guys don't find appealing at all  - and other guys absolutely love. Maybe she has a tattoo; maybe she's overweight; maybe she wears glasses. Who knows? The point is, whatever makes her stand out is evident enough in her profile that the guys looking for that quality are contacting her. 

Maybe A has that same quality (or something similar). So why no emails? Because she's hidden it from her profile. In an effort to "fit the formula" she's taken steps to hide her most unique features. She fits the formula - but what good does it do, when she's just like all the other 7's? She's just a number - no connections. The emails she does get are not quality, because there's nothing in her profile that tells her suitors what she's really about.

The moral (of my story, anyway)? I'd better figure out who I am, and what makes me great - so that I can properly showcase it to would-be dates. Otherwise, I'm gonna keep getting a whole lot of cooties. 

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