Friday, July 13, 2012

Dating is an intergalactic battle

"...Tell your about it...."
That's what Engineer said about this guy who keeps popping back up in his circle of friends. The guy dated Engineer's ex, and then a lot of other women, and now he is (or was) dating a friend of a friend. It's a small world, after all.

Anyway, I guess the guy is a real winner. By winner, I mean he is good-looking, seems nice and friendly - and then cheats on his girlfriends, and sleeps with anything that passes him on the street.

I told Engineer there are lot of guys out there who present as being perfectly normal - and then they turn on you. That's the thing that makes finding a good guy so difficult - and, as I recently explained to X, is why guys like this sometimes end up with my phone number. On the outside, they are good-looking, seem nice, friendly, smart, funny...all the things that make a "normal" guy. You don't see the truth until it's too late, and your're left scrambling with your cellular provider to block the phone number.

It's sort of like that 80's show V. OK, I'm dating myself a little here - first it was a mini-series, then it was a very short-lived TV series. A couple of years ago, one of the networks tried to resurrect it - and failed.

The basic story is a race of aliens comes to earth, saying that they are from a dying planet and in need of some of Earth's resources. They ask for our help, and in exchange, offer some of their own technological advances (cures for diseases, energy sources, etc.). They look like us, speak our languages, even have the same mannerisms.

At some point, we find out that they are really here to harvest humans - they need our blood to survive. Turns out, they're really reptilian, and don't look human at all - they're all wearing fake skin, contact lenses, and little doo-dads to translate their words into whatever language they want.

It's all a ruse, just to gain our trust, so they can get what they want - and it works. By the time people figure out what was going on and try to fight back, the aliens are in control of the most powerful countries.

Which, if you think about it, isn't all that different from dating. We put our best foot forward when we first go on dates; wearing our best clothes, being all witty and smart with our conversation, going to places where we know we'll be fun. We don't start to show our real colors - a temper, a runny nose, no makeup - until we feel secure enough that the other person won't run away.

By the time you find out who you're really dating - you're already in the relationship so deep, it's too late to get out (even if you want).

So, it all boils down to this: Dating is nothing but an intergalactic battle with a flesh-eating alien race that wants to suck us in, and then devour us whole.

No wonder I'm so tired.


  1. I think this might be your best piece yet.

  2. Too funny! Cheers.

  3. For me dating is really fun specially if the one you're with feels the same way and you are comfortable with each other.
    I do agree with you that there are some guys out there who are born to have a "thick face", a great player and a great cheater and I really hate that kind of guy.