Monday, July 16, 2012

Don't call me, maybe

Apparently, Mr. Kayak felt he hadn't sufficiently turned me off by repeatedly trying to convince me he knows me better than I know myself. He searched and searched for the final nail for his coffin, securing that we will, in fact, never go on a date.

Who says it doesn't pay to be persistent?

He caught me online on a Friday night, and he asked if I had plans for the weekend. I did, actually (if my plan is to relax in my yard with a book on Sunday afternoon - that is a plan, not something from which I need rescuing).

"When do you have time to date?" he asked.

"Ya gotta get in there early!" I said. Then I felt bad. "Kidding. We could get something to eat Sunday evening if you'd like." This allowed me to accept his invitation, and not interrupt my day.

He said he'd text me Saturday to confirm. He did.
Hi, baby! Hope you're having a good day!
Well, I was. My reply?
Day is great. Do me a favor? Don't call me baby. Or babe. Not really a nickname person.
He was either so caught off guard, or so annoyed by what I said, that he never confirmed our date. I was so irritated and turned off, I didn't bother, either.

Here's my thing....

If I get a text that is already generic, and on top of that, I'm referred to as "baby" or "babe" or "hun" or whatever, I picture the guy pressing keys on his phone and sending that same, generic - probably saved - text message to a whole distribution list of women. I picture his contact list something like:

POF Brunette
OKC Weight Lifter
POF Blonde
Match Big Boobs
POF Glasses

In other words, you've collected a bunch of phone numbers and all you care about is building up your dating potential. You don't care who I am, what I do, what I like - or possibly what my name is. So you call me "baby."

[Which also probably explains why you keep suggesting an activity I've repeatedly told you I'm not interested in trying. You don't know me from that other girl in your list who does like to kayak.]

I'm flattered I made your list. Now please remove me, and lose my number. Maybe don't call me - baby.


  1. OH MY!

    I am laughing so hard at this post.

    Mr. Kayak.. buh-bye!

  2. Yeah, he's gone. Pretty sure he got the message. :)