Friday, July 27, 2012

Lonely fairy tales with issues

"But why would a guy do that?" 
I demanded answers from a couple of guy friends, about a new-to-me male-behavior I recently encountered:
Men who randomly keep in touch with their exes. 
I've actually never experienced this myself - but apparently, it's not outside the norm. Big and I stayed in contact - but only online (twitter, the occasional facebook post, etc.). Nothing personal; in fact, our interaction was largely limited to conversations that included mutual friends. There was no way to interpret the contact as anything other than friendly.

But this new behavior is an ex who contacts someone after a breakup, followed by a long absence. What's the point, I wondered. Is it a personality thing? Ever curious about people's behavior, I questioned a few women. They all felt it was a game, and the woman should ignore the guy.

So, I asked my guy friends.

"He wants to keep her as a backup, in case nothing else comes along, or whatever does come along doesn't work." 
"He might be lonely." 
"Maybe he realized he screwed up. He still has issues, though." 
So, what we have is a lonely man with issues, stringing a woman along until he's absolutely sure he's done with her? 

I bet Disney Imagineers are working on the fairy tale as we speak.


  1. I've actually been friended on FB by more than a dozen ex-boyfriends, dating all the way back to junior high school. Some I can actually confirm a real friendship with, others lurk quietly in the shadows and send random drunken messages to me in the middle of the night. In any case, I find the situation amusing...and I admit, I do like the attention.

  2. I have no problem with exes as friends. I'm sure I've written about that before. my initial reaction was that this ex is contacting my friend (no - I'm not actually talking about me, here) to be friends.

    But I found it interesting that so many others thought it was shady, a game, etc. These people don't know each other, and their opinions were all independent of one another - but they all seemed to agree.

    Cooties may be annoying, but they continue to fascinate me.

  3. It's a nice topic though! Thanks for making this stuff. It is highly appreciated!

  4. The guy friends - NAILED IT!
    I have a 'fella' who drove me crazy with his non-commital, random touch base with ya kind of thing.
    I was so into this 'fella' and he knew it.... it took a while but I finally figured out that he was just 'checking' to see if I was still an option. ~ASS!~

  5. For me, I hate it if my boyfriend is still communicating with his exes. I have a question "why is it that boys don't erase their past conversations,pictures,contacts and other stuffs to their exes?" I found it out through my boyfriend. I feel so insecure about it. I told him to delete it and I don't know if he really did.

    For that scenario, maybe the guy wants to be friends with his exes and there's nothing wrong with that not unless if they will do more than friendships. As a girl, we can't deny the fact that it scares us that what if they will be together again? We really feel jealous about it because they have past.

    If your boyfriend really loves you he will never do a stupid act to hurt you like communicating to his exes. That's a stupid lame I guess!