Friday, February 18, 2011

First step

One minute, I just want to stay on my dating hiatus; the next minute, I'm trolling online dating profiles, or thinking up strategies to ask that guy out.


It's tough making the first move. I think it's easier for me to do online. For one thing, if I find a guy on a dating site, it's pretty safe to assume he's there to meet people. Worst case scenario, he's not interested and doesn't reply - I'm no worse off, and there was no in-person rejection.

But to approach a stranger - or worse yet, someone I know casually? Oh, that's a whole different story. First, there's the fear of rejection. That's so much more embarrassing in person (I think, anyway). Second, if it's a friend, I put the friendship at risk. That's a scary thought - because it means I actually do have something to lose.

I was reading this article about reasons to make the first move. Makes some sense...but the whole idea still makes me nervous.

How do you get past that hurdle?


  1. I think in getting past that hurdle you have to keep in mind two things: 1. If they say no, or aren't interested, it's not generally about you per se, it's about them. 2. People (at least the good ones) are generally flattered when someone expresses interest in them even if the feelings/thoughts aren't returned and if they aren't at least polite about it then screw them in the ear for being douche canoes.

  2. I know you're right. I've always been one to worry that a guy won't be interested in me. Guess if I'm still thinking that way - maybe it's not a good idea yet. *shrugs* It'll work out.

  3. I made the first move, um, 18 years ago, as a freshman in college. Happily married, 3 kids.

    Just sayin'