Tuesday, February 15, 2011


I promised myself thirty days; as of today, I've kept that promise.

I haven't visited a dating website, or flirted with anyone online (or in person). I haven't met anyone new. I haven't stalked pursued anyone from my past. I deleted private messages, hid timelines - everything.

I learned some things about myself - that I may have been using relationships as an excuse, or making excuses in my relationships. I definitely liked the guys I was dating, and I really believe I was in love with Big - but that doesn't mean it was meant to be forever, and I've accepted that.

They were good guys. I was lucky to have met them, and I have no regrets.

Still, now I'm wondering - do I want to start dating again? Or should I keep this love cleanse thing going? Part of me is worried that if I don't get back into things, I'll forget how to date. I'll get so used to being on my own, it'll get harder and harder to let someone else in. Another part of me doesn't feel like I'm done; I started some great changes, and I've got some momentum going - but I still have a lot to do. I don't want to lose myself again.

So what do I do? Is there balance?


  1. YAY! I'm proud of you. You did a good job. As for your question, if you feel like there's still work to do, maybe give it another 30 days and see where you stand. In the mean time if you meet someone, awesome, if not it's not a big deal because you weren't looking.

  2. I was thinking that, too. I keep getting silly emails from one dating site - "So-and-so wants to meet you!" and such. Part of me wonders if that's a sign to start looking again. Another part of me just wants to keep going and not worry about it.

    Guess I'll just take it day by day. I still think boys have cooties. :)