Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Best of the Worst: Tanning booths and sex?

Like, I said, I'm not actively dating. While I figure out exactly what that means and how well it works, I am still perusing dating-site profiles, and of course, reading emails that are sent to me. Most sites will tell you who has viewed your profile - I often start there and just pick a profile at random.

This guy was cute. His photo looked nice, and he was smiling. Then I read his profile - and proceeded to copy and paste it here.
i'm still single,thx for looking,i like art,street art,fine art,graphics,bikes,motorcycles,tattoos,old stuff,going out,not into sports or tanning booths,i work long hours,own a home and a business,into a wide variety of music,i'm looking for a cool chick who is easy to get along with,i prefer .............!!! (check me out on facebook <insert private email here>) i have lost 40 pounds since these pictures were taken,i'm six foot four and 270 also,i was in a bad car accident last year,broke my back,pelvis,4 ribs,ruptured my spleen,bit my tounge in half,concussion,have not had sex since then and am having a hard time,sooo,i'm just looking for somebody who can deal with my issues,and that person is hard to find,thx
I don't ever, ever - ever - need your profile to tell me how long it's been since you had sex. Also, even if we set aside the craptastic (thanks Cute Ella) grammar - it's still an awful profile. Why? The whole point of a profile is to make an impression; to make someone want to get to know you more. Telling me you have issues and are looking for someone who can deal with them is not going to get that job done.

Am I saying someone with physical challenges shouldn't date? Nope. What I am saying is, dating should be fun. It's supposed to be an exciting time, when you're full of hope and looking forward to meeting new people. If you're all, "I'm bummed; life is tough; I can't deal," then how are you in the right frame of mind to date?

If you want to be upfront about physical issues, that's cool. I think people appreciate the disclosure. But be positive. "I was in a bad accident last year. Recovery has been a challenge, but I'm getting there. I still want to dance - but might ask you to hold my crutches while I show off my moves. ;)" Something like that. Let me know that you recognize you have limitations - but you're defining them, and not letting them define you.

If you're not really in that place? Then maybe you shouldn't be dating.

Also, the space bar is that huge key at the bottom of the keyboard. Can't miss it....


  1. I don't have any words in English for that guys profile so I'll go to Yiddish...

    Oy gevalt!

  2. The only English word that even comes close is, "Cooties." :)

  3. Um ... wow, this one even rendered ME speechless.