The other day, while pondering this situation, it occurred to me that pondering might not really be necessary. I decided I needed a guy's perspective on whether or not Crush was actually showing any interest. So, I asked the only guy on earth I trust - my ex. I gave him the short version and asked his opinion on what the whole thing might mean.
My ex said no, Crush probably isn't interested. That once a guy, even a shy one, has gotten up the nerve to say hello, he will not walk away without getting a date, or at least planting that seed. He said I need to let Crush come to me. He says that's how I weed out the jerks from the nice guys; the ones who are willing to put in the effort are the ones that really like me.
Care to guess my response to that? Something along the lines of, well practically every date I ever had with Big was his doing - and he still walked away, saying he was never attracted to me, never thought of me as more than a friend, and that it was all my doing.
I think Ex mighta taken one for the team, as it were, which I did not intend. I apologized, though the story did make my cousin giggle.
I think a truly nice guy is one that would just know what he wants - and it wouldn't matter how it happened. Who cares who initiates the conversation, or asks for the first date? Shouldn't the point be that you've met this person, you're interested - and now you'll get a chance to see where it goes? Why does it always have to be a game with men? Who's in charge, who's setting the pace - what is that?
The truth is - I'm happy to play by whatever rule book anyone wants. I just wish they'd stop all the rewrites.