Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Best of the Worst: Tigers and wagon wheels

I was a bit depressed this weekend. I went online and sent out a couple of emails - with no responses. Nothing like killing your ego. I quickly recovered, though - and thanks to Sassy for sending hugs and smiles my way.

I did get one email this weekend from a guy who I did not email first. He's precious. I couldn't wait to share.

First of all - he's 49. 49! I am trying to be more open-minded about this whole age thing (in both directions) - but that's quite an age difference. If he was a Palin, he could be my dad.

Also, his profile picture is the classic Myspace photo (taken in front of a mirror). I'm willing to overlook those in some cases; I live alone, so I get it. But reflected in the mirror behind him is a large, white tiger (either on some kind of print or a throw). This did not bode well.

Not wanting to judge unfairly, I opened up his profile detail. The photos only got worse; shirtless, at a trailer with a chainsaw; at a pickup truck in the woods; and in (what I am assuming is) his living room - with a wagon wheel in the background, right next to his wide-screen TV.

Stop laughing. No, seriously....there's more....those are just the pictures.....

The site asks what you do for a living. His response: oun tree service n bounce zee bounce [NO - I'm not making that up!]

I'd share his profile with you, but honestly - it just got worse. All lower-case, no spaces between punctuation, and he misspelled the words "drama" and "goes."

I did not email him back. I cleaned out my closet instead.


  1. There are so many great lines in this post. Oh dear.

    But you know, I might have use for a "bounce zee bounce"...unless that's a euphemism for sex - I like that, I do, but I have someone for my very own "bounce zee bounce" of that sort.

    And I LOVE that you cleaned out your closet instead of replying.

  2. He sounds FABULOUS. Give him my email, definitely.

    ~giggle giggle~

    Cleaning a closet - or for that matter, a toilet - is definitely more productive than emailing that guy. Yikes!

    (And you're welcome for the hugs and smiles, as always!)

  3. I think we know that clearly you and your closest were the winners that night. WOW.