Saturday, October 26, 2013

30 Day Blogging Challenge: Day 18

Today's blogging challenge: If you could have a conversation with yourself in high school, what would you say?

I've written the "Letter to my sixteen year old self" post before. I think these are the kind of posts that evolve with time, though, and sometimes it's fun to revisit, and reconsider, what you might say.

In middle school, and early high school, I was bullied a bit and made fun of a lot. My self-esteem took a major hit, and I was in a very bad place. In my junior year of high school, having taken some accelerated English classes, I was able to fit a Journalism 101 class in to my course schedule. I instantly fell in love, and writing became my new passion.

By the time I was a senior, I was pretty focused on a great future. I wasn't trying to date (It helped that my major crush had become a great friend. I knew he didn't feel anything more for me than friendship, and I didn't want to ruin what we had - but no one else could compare.). I spent most of my time either studying, working, or at my after-school passion - as the Managing Editor of my school paper.

I spent time with friends, though they were never dates. I enjoyed my fun, and my independence, and everything that went along with working hard and earning a little more freedom from my dad.

I went to college fully-focused on becoming a journalist. I was on an excellent path - until I met a guy who would change my life.

He was abusive and callous and simply horrible to me. He took what self-esteem I had fought so hard for and shredded it. It would take years - decades, really, and a failed marriage - to fully realize the impact he had and begin regaining control over my own self-esteem.

So, if I could tell my high school self anything - it would be to trust my gut and stick to the path I laid out for myself - and not to let that guy get in my way.

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