We all have a type, right? Some people want their future mate to be rich, or super-smart, or come from a good family, or a fitness buff, or adventurous, or interested in the same causes. Of course, most everyone has a physical "type" to which they're most attracted, and that tends to be who they notice first because, well - they're human.
I'm no different. I have a physical type. But none of those characteristics are deal-breakers when it comes to who I date.
Of course, it'd be nice if my future mate and I shared certain things - such as a love of movies, sarcasm, volunteerism, life and career goals, or support for certain social and/or political issues.
But the truth is, those aren't really deal-breakers, either.
I'd like my future mate to be honest. If I know he's telling me the truth, I won't have to wonder where I stand, or whether or not I can trust him.
I'd like him to be open. If I've learned one thing, it's that relationships don't work if there isn't communication, and sharing. I want him to open up to me about how he feels, and I also want him to open his life up to me - and allow me to do the same.
I'd like him to be successful - which doesn't equal being rich. By success, I mean I'd like him to have found a path in life that makes him happy, and allows him to live the life he wants. Like me, that might be through work, or through hobbies, or other interests. But a happy guy is a successful guy.
Speaking of interests - I'd like him to have some. It'd be great if we shared some, but if that's not possible, I'd love if he had his own hobbies. At the very least, it'll make him more interesting, and who knows - maybe he'll even teach me something.
Above all else, I want him to be confident. Why confidence? It shows up in several ways that are important.
- I don't ever want to have a conversation about how I don't think he's good enough - and a confident guy won't have that conversation.
- I want him to take charge - make plans for us, initiate conversations, get involved in the relationship. That takes confidence.
- I want him to respect me. I want him to listen when I have an opinion, even when it differs from his, the way only a confident guy can.
The rest is all negotiable.