Wednesday, May 4, 2011

The good ol' days

Remember when we only had two choices if we wanted to talk to a guy? We could call him from a phone attached to a wall in our house, or meet him out somewhere and talk in person?

Now, we can get his status updates on facebook, check his latest tweet or foursquare check-in, send him an email or facebook message, text him, IM him, or DM him....what'd I miss? 

In some ways it's great - instant gratification and instant results. Making last minute plans means no night is ever a lost cause until it's over. 

It's also bad - have you drunk-dialed or texted at 2am? Or how about sent an email with all those thoughts and feelings that he never would have seen if you'd had to actually mail a letter?

When I was trying to say what I had to say to Crush, I was actually disappointed to find him online. Weird, right? It should be the perfect opportunity to get it done and over with.

Here's my thing... Sending the message made it seem like I just had something to say, so I was saying it without a lot of pressure. It also meant that my feeling foolish could be put off until I got his response. Saying something in IM felt like I was cornering him, and also that my foolishness would manifest itself in real time. *shudders*

Of course, with relationships, talking in person is always best. Body language and facial expressions mean a lot, and instant reactions are helpful. Emails are too easy to ignore, think about, rehearse, etc., and it's really hard to have a meaningful exchange in short bursts of 140-160 characters.

But sometimes you don't need to wait for that chance to talk in person. If you're just going to have a, "thanks, but no thanks," kind of conversation, why waste time having that one-on-one? You can just say it in a message and get it done, and move on.

I guess it depends on the conversation, the people and the relationship. Seems all the ways that technology has simplified communication has really made things very complicated.

1 comment:

  1. I agree- sometimes we're TOO in touch. Plus there's all that pressure to be available all the time... some things are made easier, others harder... really depends on the situation and people involved...