Friday, May 13, 2011

Spring cleaning

We clean everything this time of year, don't we? Closets, cupboards, garages, gardens....the list keeps going. We try to shed clutter and debt and extra weight.

If you're single, I guess now is also the perfect time to take stock of your dating habits, figure out what you should keep - and get rid of those that aren't working.

I found this list at the How About We....? dating blog. I have to say I agree - mostly.
I was just saying to a friend this past weekend that I don't like "the hunt." I am more comfortable in a relationship; I value the familiarity and comfort of knowing with whom I'm going to be. Like I said to her - I like dating, but I'm tired of going on first dates. I want to get past that stage - I just can't seem to get there.

That makes me In the past, that has made me prone to settling. After Big, and especially after 28-Year-Old, I decided that was not going to happen again. After Crush, I learned that I want butterflies, and won't settle for anything less. As a result, I have fairly high standards - or am, as some people say, too picky.

But I don't judge a book by its cover. For example, my date from last week is a student. I wasn't able to glean from our email conversations whether that was a full-time situation, or if he also worked. That made me nervous, and in the past it might have caused me to resist an actual date. But this time, I decided to give it a chance, and see how it turned out - and I'm glad I did.

I don't believe that the bar can ever be set "too high." I think the bar can be set inappropriately - that women (and men) can focus on the wrong things. But to say someone sets a bar too high, or is too picky, or whatever, suggests that she should settle. That she should relax, even on things that are important to her. I disagree. I think it's important that every woman realize that she should not be afraid to find that guy who is perfect for her.

"Some people are settling down, some people are just settling. I refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies." Sex and the City

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