Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Don't be lonely

A couple weeks ago, I participated in a twitter chat hosted by Your Tango and Laurie Davis (eFlirtExpert) promoting her new book Love at First Click. One of the questions asked was, "What are some of the words to avoid in an online dating profile?"

Without hesitation, I answered "lonely" as being the worst word to use. Several others agreed, and as Laurie Davis said, "Who wants to date a Danny Downer?"

I definitely prefer profiles that are upbeat and positive. Obviously we all have our bad days. If you're on a dating site, and especially if you're in your 30s - 40s, it's a fair assumption that your heart has been broken a lot before. But that shouldn't be your lead, ya know?

Even more than that... I don't want to feel that lonliness is what motivates you to look for dates. Why? It means you're just looking for someone to fill the space. You don't have an idea of what you want, beyond the fact that you know you don't want to be alone.

I want to know you're happy in your life, with or without a date. I want to know that any relationship you pursue is because you want that person in your life.

I've said it before....looking for love when you're lonely is like grocery shopping when you're hungry: You take home things you don't really want.

I want to be the relationship you want; not the regrettable decision you made because you were trying to force the issue.

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